Three Babies, One NICU Family

Six years ago, when Jon Mikael and Kimberly Nelson of Lucedale became parents for the first time, they also became part of a family they never expected to join.

Their first child, a son, arrived at just 30 weeks, and spent about 40 days in the Level III Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Forrest General Hospital in Hattiesburg.

A few years later, their daughter arrived early, too. She spent about a month in the same NICU.

Then came Cooper who was born in August.

Born eight weeks early at 4 pounds, 9 ounces, Cooper became the Nelsons’ third child — and their third baby to need the specialized care of the Forrest General NICU.

By then, something had changed.                                                                        

The fear was still there. But so was trust.

“This time was a lot easier,” Kimberly said. “Whenever they told me, I already knew, they’re going to take care of my baby. I can trust them.”

That trust had grown with each NICU stay and each child the staff had cared for.

September is NICU Awareness Month, recognizing premature and critically ill babies, their families, and the physicians, nurses, therapists, and other caregivers who care for them.

For the Nelsons, the people inside Forrest General’s NICU have become much more than caregivers. They have become family.

From fear to trust

Jon Mikael still remembers the uncertainty surrounding the birth of their first child.

“It’s different. You don’t know what to expect, what the outcome of it is,” he said. “You’re terrified. You don’t know what to do. You’re just sitting there praying and trying to figure it out.”

Their first baby was so small that John Mikael remembers being able to hold him in the palm of his hand.

“He was smaller than a pack of baby wipes,” he said. “That’s nerve-wracking because you don’t want to hurt him. But they’re actually a lot stronger than you think they are.”

The NICU staff helped the new parents learn how to care for their tiny son.

“They walked us through each and every step, every day,” Jon Mikael said. “They kept in touch with us. They didn’t leave anything out.”

Kimberly remembers that first experience as terrifying.

“I was young. I didn’t know what any of that meant,” she said. “The whole thing was traumatic. From day one until the end of his stay, I was scared constantly.”

But she also remembers how the staff prepared them, reassured them, and made sure they were comfortable before involving them in their baby's care.

When their daughter was born two years later and admitted to the NICU, the experience brought a different challenge.

This time, Kimberly had a two-year-old child at home who needed her love, attention, and care.

With her husband at work, she could no longer stay in the NICU beside her newborn around the clock.

“I had to leave her and take care of him at home,” she said. “I had to rely on calling up here.”

And call she did — sometimes 15 times a day.

“They talked to me. They reassured me,” Kimberly said. “They were great with communication. You couldn’t ask for better care than that.”

For families who cannot always be at the bedside, each NICU room also has a secure webcam. Parents can log in and see their baby remotely, a feature Kimberly calls a blessing during her daughter’s NICU stay.

“I couldn’t have been at home with him and here at the same time,” she said. But there were times when she missed her daughter’s first bottle and other milestones because she was an hour away. So “the NICU staff was a mama to my baby when I couldn’t be there, and that’s a blessing.”

‘They remember you’

When Kimberly and Jon Mikael returned to Forrest General for Cooper’s birth, they discovered something that meant almost as much as the medical care itself.

The staff remembered them.

“You don’t think about it,” Jon Mikael said. “You see the staff, you see everybody here, and when you go home and come back this time, they remember you.”

Staff members asked about the Nelsons’ older children, children they had cared for four and six years earlier.

Many of the faces were familiar.

“They deeply care each and every time,” Jon Mikael said. “They took care of our babies. They check on you all the time and truly make you feel like family. We’re blessed being here. They have made a stressful time an enjoyable experience.”

One of those familiar faces is Dr. Manika Sharma, a neonatologist with Southern Mississippi Neonatology and medical director of the nursery and NICU at Forrest General.

Dr. Sharma was present for the admission of all three Nelson babies.

“Walking into the room and seeing the two of you, it hurt my heart a little that we have to go through this again,” Dr. Sharma told the couple. “I think all of us had hoped that next time it would not happen. But to be able to continue to be part of your family, I’m glad that I was there.”

It’s these kinds of relationships the NICU staff and physicians want to have with families.

Kimberly says Dr. Sharma’s role in their lives has extended far beyond physician.

“She wasn’t just a doctor to us,” she said. “She’s been a counselor, a friend, and a parent-like figure when our parents couldn’t be here. That’s a blessing to have.”

Designed around the baby

Forrest General’s Level III NICU is equipped to care for extremely premature and critically ill babies. The unit offers multiple forms of ventilation, specialized medications, and other advanced support.

But Dr. Sharma says the NICU’s approach goes beyond medical technology.

“Every piece of this is about the baby,” she said.

The unit includes 19 private rooms, with rooms designed to accommodate twins and some that can be configured for triplets. Parents can stay in the rooms with their babies around the clock, and rooms in the intermediate-care area include private bathrooms.

Even details visitors might never notice were intentionally designed around neonatal development.

The floor uses different colors to distinguish areas surrounding the baby that need to remain especially clean from normal walking areas. Lighting for families is separate from lighting used for infant care, allowing staff to increase illumination during a procedure and lower it when a baby needs to rest.

Above each bathing sink is a heated ceiling tile to help keep babies warm during baths.

“Every little detail is centered around what is best for the baby, specifically developmentally,” Dr. Sharma said, “which means they will also do better and go home much sooner.”

The NICU also has a comprehensive developmental team that includes speech, occupational, and physical therapy available at the bedside.

“Everything we do, from our lighting protocols to the way we wrap babies, the way they are turned – every little thing is done with our developmental team to ensure the best outcome for these babies long term,” Dr. Sharma said.

The NICU is staffed by neonatologists, neonatal nurse practitioners, dozens of specially-trained nurses, and neonatal respiratory therapists capable of stabilizing and intubating babies when necessary.

That combination of specialized expertise and personal attention is what Dr. Sharma believes defines the unit.

“One thing that I love about our NICU is it doesn’t feel like an ICU,” she said. “It feels like family.”

A family caring for families

Sharma says the relationships that develop in the NICU are one of the most meaningful parts of the work.

Nurses may stop what they are doing to reassure a worried mother on the telephone. Staff members celebrate weight gains, successful feedings, and steps toward breathing without assistance.

They come to know parents during some of the most frightening days of their lives.

And sometimes, years later, those parents walk back through the doors with another baby — and the staff remembers.

“When you walk in through the doors, what you feel is the love and dedication that every person in here puts into each patient,” Sharma said. “We want them to trust us, because they’re literally leaving a piece of themselves with us, and that is the most humbling thing.”

After three NICU stays, the Nelsons understand that trust better than most.

Their advice to another parent unexpectedly facing a NICU stay is simple.

“Just trust the staff and know they are doing everything they can, because they truly are amazing, and they do care about the baby,” Kimberly said. “The days are long and overwhelming, and at the end of it, it’s going to seem like it was a lifetime, but it goes by really quick. You’ve just got to be patient.”

For Jon Mikael, Forrest General’s NICU has become one of the tools that helped his family through circumstances they never would have chosen for themselves.

“They take care of you. They take care of the baby. They take care of your needs,” he said. “It’s been exceptional.”

Three babies. Three NICU stays. Years of familiar faces, worried phone calls, bedside conversations, prayers, milestones, and eventually, homecomings.

The Nelsons never planned to become members of the NICU family.

But six years later, there is little doubt they are.

“This is home for our children,” Kimberly said. “They’ve made it an enjoyable experience.”

To learn more, visit www.forresthealth.org/nicu